I’m turning 24 in less than a week, and like a lot of people, I have found myself analyzing this year of my life that is about to come to a close.
As some of you may already know, based on previous posts of mine, the last two to three years of my life have been crazy years for me.
A lot of things have happened, one that I will mention is the breakdown I had three years ago.
If you have ever heard of the term ‘quarter-life crisis’, the equivalent of a mid-life crisis which occurs in young adults between the ages 18-25 (these years seem to vary between 18-30 according to different sources), I had that.
I woke up one day at 21 years old and felt so lost.
This feeling that I had wasted my life consumed me, and I didn’t know what to do. For the most part, it was fueled by the idea that I wasn’t where I thought I was supposed to be at that point in my life.
I had recently come to the realization that I was not content with my current major and I wanted to change it. That would mean adding extra years of schooling.
There was also the haunting thought that I had already been in school for so long and I was a loner. In the three years I had been in college, I hadn’t made any meaningful relationships. I would commute from home to school, from school to work, then work to home. Monday through Friday.
My mind went into overdrive and began to analyze how badly I had screwed up.
Amazingly, 23 has been a year of reflection and growth.
I reached a point in which I was fed up with feeling bad about myself and decided to take some actions to move towards the life that I really wanted.
Now, I can’t say my life is perfect, but it is a work in process that I can truthfully say I am content with.
With that said here are some lessons that I have learned (mostly in my 23rd year) from being on earth 23 years:
It’s okay not to be okay. I had this whole picture of what I thought I was supposed to be doing at this point in my life and let me just tell you, this was not at all what I had in mind. But that’s fine. Turns out, everyone has a different pace and life doesn’t always go the way we think it’s going to go. Honestly, though, every moment that led me here was weirdly beautiful, in some twisted poetic way.
Sometimes you need to lose yourself. Break free from old patterns, old friendships, old mindsets that are holding you back. You’ll be amazed to find all the things that you are capable of and maybe even realize you actually didn’t need some of the things you thought you couldn’t live without.
He doesn’t matter. Love yourself, and love yourself hard. Although he didn’t value you, there is someone out there looking for someone just like you. Focus on being the best you you can be and accept the person that will appreciate all you have to offer.
It’s not too late. You can learn to play the piano, you can write poetry, you can become a photographer.You can do whatever you want. You can. You can. You can. Don’t let fear overpower you. It’s amazing the things you can overcome/accomplish when you step out, even in that fear.
Although you’re still young and it feels like you have a whole life ahead of you, we don’t know what tomorrow holds. So love yours hard and live every day as if it were your last.
Comparison can be lethal. It gets you nowhere fast. Just don’t. Learn to be satisfied with you.
Even though it’s been a crazy couple of years, I’m so grateful for that moment of reflection and clarity. Yes, sometimes I still get in my head, and think about how things were “supposed to be”, but I am now focused on trying to shake those thoughts off when they come.
I don’t want to be stuck on what could have been, I want to be in the here and now.
In the here and now, I’m capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to, I’m pursuing things that I’m passionate about, and I’m surrounded by people that love me.
Today, I encourage you to reflect.
Reflect on all the wonderful things you want to accomplish and go for them.
It’s okay that things aren’t perfect, that you guys aren’t together anymore and that you’re not in the same position other people your age are at this point. Focus on you. Lose yourself in the things that you love or are interested in, give your all and see where it takes you.
Put aside all the doubts and things that are holding you back and move towards that person you are so capable of becoming.
Love you guys!