All posts by Mara

6 Ways to Take Your Power Back

I recently read the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin, and the concept of giving our power away struck a chord with me.

Morin, who is a licensed clinical social worker, psychology instructor, and pshychotherapist, explains, how one of the 13 things that interfere with our mental strength is the conscious or unconscious act of giving power away. 

The overall theme of the chapter focused on the topic is that we give our power away when we let outside factors, things beyond our control, control how we feel and how we act and we don’t take measures to conserve our power.

“Anytime you don’t set healthy emotional and physical boundaries for yourself, you risk giving away your power to other people…Each time you avoid saying no to something you really don’t want, you give your power away” – Amy Morin, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

With that in mind, today I want to share with you guys some tips I think are important in this journey of learning about your power and taking it back:

1. Nourish your soul with truth.

Read empowering books, self-reflect learn, new things; fill yourself with all the good you possibly can. Figure out what’s important to you and what you believe with all your heart.

2.   Practice sticking to your values.

These are always non-negotiable.  Not to say that you shouldn’t take any input or that your opinions won’t change later on. But, if you believe in your core that something is right/important don’t succumb to any outside pressure to go back on it.

3. Don’t allow room in your life for people that don’t respect you.

Your circle should be quaint; quality over quantity. It should be filled with people who tell you the truth but above all respect you. If they don’t, they got to go.

4. Surround yourself with people and things that bring you life.

Pretty self explanatory but if you want good vibes you got to constantly nourish your soul with good things and good people.

5. Practice self-compassion.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things aren’t always going to work out perfectly. That is life. What matters is how you react to it; what you tell yourself. Encourage yourself the way you would a friend!

6. Love Yourself.

Treat yourself, take yourself out, say nice things to yourself, and you will see that you will not only feel great but you will teach others how to love you and attract the right kind of people to your life.

****
Overall, taking your power back is hard work but the benefits you will see are amazing.

Xoxo, 

Mara 

P.s Y’all should totally check out Amy’s book it’s a very good read!

Advertisements

3 Reasons Why I’m No Longer Claiming Anxiety

I’m not clinically diagnosed with anxiety but I can tell you that I’ve been an anxious person since I can remember.

I’ve been anxious about many things from being around a lot of people, to losing my parents, being rejected and the list goes on and on. I’ve lost sleep, felt sick to my stomach, and felt the need to hide.

When I finally understood that these things were actually symptoms of general anxiety disorder I made the unfortunate mistake of claiming it rather than seeking help.

Not only did that open the door for more anxiousness to manifest itself in my life but it minimized and almost completely eliminated my desire to get better.

However, I’ve realized that my desire to live a happy and healthy life is greater than the negative thoughts that adversely influence my life and sometimes keep me at a stand still.

Here are the three main reasons/driving forces in my decision to no longer claim anxiety:

1. I don’t want it. Sure, I may get anxious occasionally but I refuse to make it a part of who I am.

2. If I don’t claim it, I make room for the mindset in which I can take steps to overcome the things that bring about the anxiousness.

3. I’ve already made progress towards being the person that I want to be and if completely devote myself to it I know will be successful.

For me, it has boiled down to this principle:

Their is power in our words.

Let’s claim positive truths and watch how are lives are transformed for the better.

Let’s passionately seek great things for our lives like self love, self care, joy, peace, motivation (YOU NAME IT).

Xoxo,
Mara
 
 

5 Ways to Re-Center Your Life

Every day we are pulled left and right by the various things that life throws our way.

Whether it be losing a job, having friendship issues or personal issues these things disrupt our peace and leave is feeling anxious, stressed, and sometimes even depressed.

Yet, have you noticed that there are people that still find the courage to be joyful regardless of whatever comes their way?

These people are ones that have been able to find what gives their life balance.

They are able to assess what is going around them and take steps to make sure that they maintain their inner peace no matter how their outer life is looking.

These are five practices that you can implement in order to maintain your balance:

****

1. Establish a routine for your down days that is loaded with self-care. Eat breakfast even if it’s 6 o’clock in the afternoon, read a book, take the time to get dolled up and take yourself out. These things may seem meaningless but they can actually give you the energy to stay motivated and approach your day from a better light.

2. Get your body moving. Workout, go for a walk, do something that will give your body the blood flow it needs, relax your mind, and release some endorphins while you’re at it.

3. Unplug and connect with yourself. Use this time to connect yourself by journaling for self-reflection, meditating, or doing some deep breathing exercises and note how you feel after a while.

4. Get rid of toxic friendships. The ones who only take but never give. The ones who constantly drain you. Let them go. If you want positive vibes in your life,  you have to surround yourself with people and things that exude positive vibes.

5. Seek counseling. Take the time to talk to someone in confidence. It can be cathartic and you will definitely learn more about yourself in the process.

****

These are some universal things that you can implement in order to maintain balance in your life.

However, there are practices that aren’t on this list that might be of great benefit to you.

Seek them.

Take the time to figure out what you need to do in order to maintain balance in your life, and stick to it no matter what.

 

Good luck!

Xoxo,

Mara

7 Positive Affirmations for Everyday Life

I really wish I could accurately explain how beneficial positive self-talk is to our overall well-being.

All I can say is when you decide to react to circumstances in your life by speaking positive truths, you are able to experience a shift in emotions as well as a balanced change in perspective, over time.

Here are some positive affirmations you can use in your everyday life:

1. I am beautiful, I am unique, I am special. All that I am is enough and amazing. I don’t need to be anybody else but me. (cue Gavin Degraw, OTH fans where you at?:p)

2. I have made a mistake, but I am not a mistake.

3. What I think about myself is more important than what other people think about me.

4. My art is necessary. Even if it touches just one person, and that person is me.

5. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I am on my way there. Everything I am going through is only going to make me better prepared for what is coming.

6. No matter what comes my way today I can handle it gracefully.

7. I don’t need to be in control of everything for everything to be okay. 

***

You know what the amazing thing about this is?

You don’t have to feel like these things are true in the moment for you to speak them.

However, continue speaking these positive truths and soon enough they become reality in your life.

Xoxo,

Mara

 

9 Ways to Self-Care After a Long Day of Work

Whether it’s taking some time to watch a movie you’ve been dying to see, spending some time journaling your thoughts, or even going through your natural hair wash day routine, self-care is so transformative for our overall well-being; managing our moods and allowing for greater perspective on situations that are taking place in our lives.

It is so easy to get wrapped up in meaningless activities after work but taking measures to self-care will help to maintain your physical, mental and emotional health as well as motivate you to continue working hard.

Here are some self-care activities that you can implement after a long day at work:

***

  1. Put the electronics away for at least an hour or two. Especially if you work behind a screen all day. This will give your vision and your mind a break.
  2. Take some time to center yourself by practicing some meditation. You can try some deep breathing exercises or listen to calming music.
  3. Take a nice warm shower or bath, put on some comfy clothes and then eat dinner.
  4. Read your favorite book.
  5. Work on one of your hobbies.
  6. Workout. Plug the music in and tune the world out.
  7. Journal. Write about your day, what thoughts have been running through your mind, the things you’re grateful for, etc.
  8. Have a dance party.
  9. Converse with whoever is home, whether it’s your significant other, a friend, a family member.

What are some self-care practices you implement after work?

Let me know in the comment section.

Xoxo,

Mara

11 Things that Happen When You Learn to Love Yourself

When you learn to love yourself things begin to change in your life.

Like, the couple that realizes that they still love each other after understanding how their partner desires to be loved when we love ourselves right, our lives will reap positive outcomes.

Here are some things that happen when you begin a journey to self-love:

1. You no longer need validation from anyone or anything other than yourself.

This has honestly got to be the most common, yet destructive thing that happens when we don’t love ourselves. We allow our value to be quantified by someone/something else. Whether it be from a romantic or platonic relationship. When you learn to love yourself, you don’t give a flying crap about what anybody thinks about you, because you know that you are beautiful, you are talented, you are capable, all on your own.

2. You turn away/get turned off from anything that does not appreciate your value.

When you learn to love yourself, you can pick up on things that don’t consider all that you are and you want nothing to do with it.

3. Your focus shifts from trying to compete with others to empowering and cheering them on.

It’s such an ugly trait, but when we don’t love ourselves, we belittle ourselves in comparison to others or even stoop to the point of talking down others in order to make ourselves look better. When you finally become satisfied in your skin, you only want to see others satisfied in theirs. Instead of tearing our “competition” down we want to see them be successful, and we cheer them on from the sidelines.

4. Other’s approval becomes secondary to your well-being.

Even though, you love people and you especially want the best for them, you know that you can’t do your best or give your best, if you don’t say no sometimes and take the necessary measures to take care of yourself.

5. You come in contact with things for which you are passionate about.

You begin to pursue things that make you happy, even things you’ve never tried before. Opening doors for your passion to arise.

6. You gravitate towards positive people.

You realize that in order for you to maintain your balance you need to surround yourself around people that are seeking the best out of life, and that becomes your circle.

7. Positive people gravitate towards you.

You attract the kind of person you are.

8. You don’t settle for less than you deserve. 

In any area of your life. Sure, you used to beg for attention, take what you could get, and let life just happen to you. But, now you can’t sit back and take that, you know what you should be receiving and you won’t take anything less.

9. You go for things that you never would have before because you actually believe in yourself.

None of that, I don’t know if I can do this, what if I suck nonsense. Now it’s more of, I can do this, I am capable, I will succeed.

10. You don’t dwell on things that don’t go right in your life, but you learn from your mistakes and move on.

You realize that there’s nothing you can do to change the past, but learn and make sure you don’t do it again. You stay focused on the things that keep you balanced.

11. You move towards becoming the person that you’ve always wanted to be.

Once you learn to love yourself, life becomes more enjoyable and you focus on loving yourself and becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

**********

Overall, the journey to self-love is one that leads you to become a WHOLE person.

You are healthy all on your own. You don’t need someone else to make you better, to fix your broken pieces because you realize that you were capable of doing it all on your own.

You are an amazing, beautiful, capable person 💛

Xoxo,

Mara

 

 

7 Tips for Becoming Intentional about Loving Yourself

As I mentioned in my previous post, loving yourself is something that involves action.

 As a result, like with any other relationship it requires intentionality in order for it to be evidenced.

Today, I’m sharing with you some tips on how you can become intentional about loving yourself:

1. Make a list of all of the areas you would like to work on.

Loving ourselves involves taking care of mind, body, and souls. Therefore, there are many areas that we know we can work on to love ourselves. List each and every one of those areas that you would like to eventually work on. One example is your negative mindset. You can decide that you want to work on becoming a more positive or confident person.

2. Pick one area and Devote yourself to it wholeheartedly. 

You can focus on the area you want to work on by figuring out what that area would like at its best. Do your research. If you want to be more confident, google articles about how to become more confident, what qualities do confident people possess, or simply think about what actions you admire about a person you look up to that you deem as confident. 

3. Give yourself a timeline for when you want to accomplish certain tasks. 

Going back to the confidence topic. If you want to work on being more confident you don’t necessarily need a timeline but definitely need an action plan. You can decide that part of working on your confidence is going to involve dressing in a way that makes you feel fierce. So each night you’ll pick a fierce outfit to wear to work or school and do that faithfully.

4. Remind yourself of your intention, DAILY.

You can plug it into your calendar, put it into your phone, tape it in your bedroom wall. Whatever works for you.

5. Find someone to keep you accountable.

Only if you have someone that you feel comfortable with telling your weaknesses to. This person should be trustworthy and persistent. They shouldn’t hold your weaknesses against you but they should push you to stay focused on what you want to get done.

6. Check in on your progress.

This can be whatever way you would like, but for me, journaling is very effective when used as a tool for self-reflection. Set some time for when you will sit down and write about how you feel. Do you feel more confident? Have you noticed any changes in your life? This will help you to decide if there’s something you need to change or simply give you a little pat on the back when you realize how far you’ve come.

7. Reward yourself.

When you’ve accomplished a goal that you’ve set for yourself, feel free to reward yourself. Treat yourself to some ice cream, buy yourself that thing that’s been on your mind recently to get; do something to celebrate your victories.

 

*************

Intentionality is all about commitment and persistence. Being intentional about loving yourself is something that deserves all of that and more.

So decide, that you want to love yourself more this year and put in the work so you can see the benefits in your life.

Xoxo,

Mara