11 Things that Happen When You Learn to Love Yourself

When you learn to love yourself things begin to change in your life.

Like, the couple that realizes that they still love each other after understanding how their partner desires to be loved when we love ourselves right, our lives will reap positive outcomes.

Here are some things that happen when you begin a journey to self-love:

1. You no longer need validation from anyone or anything other than yourself.

This has honestly got to be the most common, yet destructive thing that happens when we don’t love ourselves. We allow our value to be quantified by someone/something else. Whether it be from a romantic or platonic relationship. When you learn to love yourself, you don’t give a flying crap about what anybody thinks about you, because you know that you are beautiful, you are talented, you are capable, all on your own.

2. You turn away/get turned off from anything that does not appreciate your value.

When you learn to love yourself, you can pick up on things that don’t consider all that you are and you want nothing to do with it.

3. Your focus shifts from trying to compete with others to empowering and cheering them on.

It’s such an ugly trait, but when we don’t love ourselves, we belittle ourselves in comparison to others or even stoop to the point of talking down others in order to make ourselves look better. When you finally become satisfied in your skin, you only want to see others satisfied in theirs. Instead of tearing our “competition” down we want to see them be successful, and we cheer them on from the sidelines.

4. Other’s approval becomes secondary to your well-being.

Even though, you love people and you especially want the best for them, you know that you can’t do your best or give your best, if you don’t say no sometimes and take the necessary measures to take care of yourself.

5. You come in contact with things for which you are passionate about.

You begin to pursue things that make you happy, even things you’ve never tried before. Opening doors for your passion to arise.

6. You gravitate towards positive people.

You realize that in order for you to maintain your balance you need to surround yourself around people that are seeking the best out of life, and that becomes your circle.

7. Positive people gravitate towards you.

You attract the kind of person you are.

8. You don’t settle for less than you deserve. 

In any area of your life. Sure, you used to beg for attention, take what you could get, and let life just happen to you. But, now you can’t sit back and take that, you know what you should be receiving and you won’t take anything less.

9. You go for things that you never would have before because you actually believe in yourself.

None of that, I don’t know if I can do this, what if I suck nonsense. Now it’s more of, I can do this, I am capable, I will succeed.

10. You don’t dwell on things that don’t go right in your life, but you learn from your mistakes and move on.

You realize that there’s nothing you can do to change the past, but learn and make sure you don’t do it again. You stay focused on the things that keep you balanced.

11. You move towards becoming the person that you’ve always wanted to be.

Once you learn to love yourself, life becomes more enjoyable and you focus on loving yourself and becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.

**********

Overall, the journey to self-love is one that leads you to become a WHOLE person.

You are healthy all on your own. You don’t need someone else to make you better, to fix your broken pieces because you realize that you were capable of doing it all on your own.

You are an amazing, beautiful, capable person đź’›

Xoxo,

Mara

 

 

Advertisements

7 Tips for Becoming Intentional about Loving Yourself

As I mentioned in my previous post, loving yourself is something that involves action.

 As a result, like with any other relationship it requires intentionality in order for it to be evidenced.

Today, I’m sharing with you some tips on how you can become intentional about loving yourself:

1. Make a list of all of the areas you would like to work on.

Loving ourselves involves taking care of mind, body, and souls. Therefore, there are many areas that we know we can work on to love ourselves. List each and every one of those areas that you would like to eventually work on. One example is your negative mindset. You can decide that you want to work on becoming a more positive or confident person.

2. Pick one area and Devote yourself to it wholeheartedly. 

You can focus on the area you want to work on by figuring out what that area would like at its best. Do your research. If you want to be more confident, google articles about how to become more confident, what qualities do confident people possess, or simply think about what actions you admire about a person you look up to that you deem as confident. 

3. Give yourself a timeline for when you want to accomplish certain tasks. 

Going back to the confidence topic. If you want to work on being more confident you don’t necessarily need a timeline but definitely need an action plan. You can decide that part of working on your confidence is going to involve dressing in a way that makes you feel fierce. So each night you’ll pick a fierce outfit to wear to work or school and do that faithfully.

4. Remind yourself of your intention, DAILY.

You can plug it into your calendar, put it into your phone, tape it in your bedroom wall. Whatever works for you.

5. Find someone to keep you accountable.

Only if you have someone that you feel comfortable with telling your weaknesses to. This person should be trustworthy and persistent. They shouldn’t hold your weaknesses against you but they should push you to stay focused on what you want to get done.

6. Check in on your progress.

This can be whatever way you would like, but for me, journaling is very effective when used as a tool for self-reflection. Set some time for when you will sit down and write about how you feel. Do you feel more confident? Have you noticed any changes in your life? This will help you to decide if there’s something you need to change or simply give you a little pat on the back when you realize how far you’ve come.

7. Reward yourself.

When you’ve accomplished a goal that you’ve set for yourself, feel free to reward yourself. Treat yourself to some ice cream, buy yourself that thing that’s been on your mind recently to get; do something to celebrate your victories.

 

*************

Intentionality is all about commitment and persistence. Being intentional about loving yourself is something that deserves all of that and more.

So decide, that you want to love yourself more this year and put in the work so you can see the benefits in your life.

Xoxo,

Mara

 

5 Truths about Loving Yourself

The term “love yourself” seems pretty self-explanatory, right?

We love our families, we love our friends, our pets, so, loving ourselves wouldn’t be any different?

The thing is, most often than not, we solely prescribe the emotion of love to ourselves but not the action.

Sure the average person would agree with the statement, “yes, I love myself”. They don’t want to die, they try to be safe, and they may occasionally splurge for the benefit of their health (stress, anxiety, etc.) but that’s normally where it ends.

However, just like it isn’t enough for another to tell us they love us and without proving it with their actions, it is not enough for us to say we love ourselves and not prove it with our actions.

I get it, though, it’s easy to let the actions of love towards ourselves fall by the wayside because who’s going to hold us accountable? No one. (Unless you have amazing friends that are on you about these things).

If you’ll hear me out for a minute (or the rest of this post) I want to share with you some truths about loving yourself that will show just how important it can be:

1. Loving ourselves is beneficial to our well-being. 

No matter how amazing it might sound to think that someone else can love us enough to mend us, no one can mend us like ourselves. Yes, outside love might put a little balm on our aching souls, but it is the hard earned love from ourselves that will completely heal us and make us strong enough to conquer this thing called life.

2. Loving ourselves involves intentionality. 

Like I mentioned before, it is not enough to simply say we love ourselves and not prove it with our actions. In order for us to see the benefits of loving ourselves in our lives, we need to be intentional about taking care of our mind, body, and spirit.  This means we need to sit down, create an action plan with a timeline and get it done because it’s important to us and we want to flourish and be at our best capacity.

3. Loving ourselves does not equate to selfishness.

Loving ourselves can sometimes bring about the misconception that we’re being selfish. Truthfully, I think this only manifests itself in one of two ways. One, it comes from us because we are so used to being kind and not wanting to disappoint people, that we feel guilty and therefore selfish that we’re no longer saying yes all the time. Two, it comes from another person who either a) doesn’t know you and confuses your assertiveness for selfishness or b) does know you, and in their disappointment prescribes selfishness to your new lifestyle choice rather than assertiveness. Regardless, you are not selfish for making decisions that benefit your well-being, even if it doesn’t sit well with other people.

4. Loving ourselves well, allows us to love others better.

This is what those who call you selfish don’t understand. Sure, you may deny some of yourself for the sake of your well-being, but that’s just it, it’s for your well-being. In the long run, you’ll be more present in the things you are involved in, and you’ll be better able to understand how to love other people.

5. Loving ourselves teaches us about who we are.

It’s funny because all of our lives, we spend trying to figure out who we are, what we want in life, and what we should do. We exert energy putting ourselves down when we don’t measure up to other people, when we haven’t gotten to the point we wanted to yet and have this screaming fear that maybe what we’re doing isn’t going to make us happy for 75 to 100 years. But if we took the time to love ourselves intentionally, we would realize, first of all, that everything’s going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it, it is. And that we are capable beyond what we ever would have imagined to do things and feel things that make life so much worth living for us.

 

**********************

Loving yourself is a lifestyle. It is something that requires intentionality and sacrifice but that will have amazing benefits on your life if you allow it to. (For some ideas on how to begin loving yourself check out this post 🙂 )

You’re going to be living with yourself for a really long time you might as well learn to love yourself now and focus on making the best of your time with the one who will always be there.

Good luck on your journey!

Xoxo,

Mara

5 Lessons 2016 Taught Me 

Dang, here we are again…

Another year has passed us by, and we have just ushered in a new one.

It’s kind of crazy to think that when many of us look back on 2016 we can overwhelmingly say that 2016 was one of the suckiest years.

As a nation, we have experienced, a number of tragedies, from the largest mass shooting, as well as many acts of police brutality, and to top it off one of the worst presidential elections.

And in their personal lives?

Some can attest to the same.

HOWEVER, I am a firm believer that there are always lessons that can be gained from even the most horrible life experiences.

It may not be what we want, or what we would have liked it to be, but if we take the time to reflect on 2016 we’ll realize that it held some positive and if nothing we can uncover even a few valuable lessons that have shaped us.

Today, I have decided to share with you a few of the lessons 2016 has taught me:

1. Emotions, like food within the heat of a cooker pressure for too long, will eventually explode into our daily lives if unaddressed.

You don’t really realize it until a series of events take place in your life and you find yourself not being able to handle them the way you normally do, but emotions are not something to take lightly. Whether you’re sad, mad, angry, hurt, whatever it is for whatever reason, it’s important to find a healthy way to address it. Talk to someone, journal it, do whatever works best for you, but get those bad boys out at your pace and in the comfort of your privacy before they spill out without your permission.

2. [l]ife is what happens when we’re busy distracted by meaningless things and sulking about the sucky parts. 

Okay, so this one is a bit harsh, but true nonetheless. There’s no denying that life is a rollercoaster ride, and it will always be. However, in order to make the most of it, I learned that we need to wake up and be intentional about enjoying life despite its ups and downs. Life can turn out to be unbelievably amazing when we choose not to dwell on the negative, but rather look for the positive in everything and remain hopeful.

3. It’s OK to be selfish; happiness should be our top priority.

If we don’t take care of ourselves we can’t adequately take care of others. Simple as that. Yes, some people may become upset at us because of it, but we’ll never be our best selves or reach our potentials if we live life walking on eggs shells just to keep other people happy.

4. No matter how far I stray, no one has my back like God does. 

Faith has been an integral part of my life for a really long time and even though 2016 didn’t see the main cause for its fracture, it definitely saw its biggest hit. However, even though I seemingly completly 180’d, God never left me. Like ya’ll don’t even know how good God came through for me and  I don’t think I’d learn this lesson better any other way. This is not to say that my faith is perfect now, but I definitely know he has my back like no one else and that’s enough for me right now.

5. Loving yourself is a catalyst for overwhelming life transformation.

This one statement is literally the cure for all of the previous lessons. That might sound like a crazy thing to say but think about it. If I had learned to love myself I wouldn’t hold emotions in, I would make the most of life because that’s what’s best for me and I would understand that sometimes my happiness comes at the expense of things but that doesn’t mean that God isn’t there and that he doesn’t love me regardless. Mind blowing, right? I’m glad I realize that now.

***

Well, that’s all folks. LOL.

Seriously, though, I hope that these lessons have benefited you in one way or another and that they inspire you to take some time to reflect on 2016 and find the gems that are buried in it.

I wish you the best and happy new year loves!

Xoxo,

Mara

P.S. Stay tuned for an updated about me post, including new post schedule and the theme for this year’s blog series. X

 

 

 

 

 

10 Things I’m Grateful For

I know it’s already a week past thanksgiving but you know what? It’s okay.

I was recently watching a youtube video by Kaylyn Nicholson and it inspired this blog post. In the video, which she labeled “All Great Art is Gratitude”, Kaylyn takes the time to list some of the things that she is grateful for, that makes her life art.

It really hit home.

There are so many things that, I either don’t really think about or simply take for granted that I can truthfully say I’m thankful for and make my life amazing even in the midst of struggle.

So, even though it’s a week past thanksgiving, I want to take the time to share with you some of the tangible and intangible things I’m grateful for.

And I hope that it reminds you of some things that you are grateful for.

Here it goes:

*These aren’t in any particular order, so I didn’t number them*

  • Second chances – I don’t know how many times, I’ve been in a position where I feel like things are done and I’ll never be able to regain a feeling, a thing, or a person, but then life blesses me with a bigger and better opportunity and it turns my “mishap” into some sort of blessing in disguise and I’m left amazed.
  • Music – I simply love music. Yes, it can be an escape like many say, but it’s not just that for me. Music is a place I go to when I’m already happy. I specifically remember the days, when I worked an 8-5, and I would be exhausted, but I would come home, turn on my radio and let my true happiness just flow. It’s who I am; a form of expression for me, and I love it.
  • Rainy days – Not only do I unwind to the sound of rain but genuine rainy days, in which I can curl up in my blanket and read a book, those days are life.
  • Fuzzy socks, sweaters, and pajamas – Simply because I’m always cold and these are heavenly.
  • Christmas movies and hot chocolate – If y’all don’t know, let me tell you, Hallmark has the best, cheesy, unrealistic romantic Christmas movies ever. They aren’t the only thing I watch, although some days it may seem like it. But let’s just say, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” when they are on. Oh and hot chocolate is the cherry on top.
  • Reading/Writing – I mean Harry Potter? lol and if I couldn’t write then I wouldn’t have this blog, and I love this and you guys A LOT.
  • Friends – It’s weird, how this year has been one of my craziest, ever, I lost friends, I lost myself for a bit, but in the midst of it all I gained deeper relationships with some people I never thought I would, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
  • Dancing – I can’t really “dance”, but I like to act like I can when I’m by myself lol. The endorphins really get going when I sway my hips to the beat of any song. Especially JB songs, ask anyone close to me and you’ll know I’m obsessed. (Let Me Love You is my jam!)
  • Family – Once again although I’ve had a mildly crappy year another thing that I’ve gained this year is a deeper relationship with my family. I’ve gotten closer with my brother and my cousins like I haven’t before and it’s strangely cool.
  • My boyfriend – Regardless of my craziness, he has been so understanding and caring, and I love him to the moon and back.

*There are so many more things that can be added to this list but these are just a few of the ones I wanted to share with you guys*

***

Regardless of where you are in life, doing gratitude exercises can be so life-giving.

Taking the time to just slow down for a minute, stop the pity party (which I am a part of more than I should), and realizing how blessed we actually are can do wonders for the soul.

I hope that this post has helped you to reflect on all of the wonderful things in your life and that you are inspired to keep moving forward and start your week on a thankful note.

Xoxo,

Mara

 

 

7 Reminders for When You Don’t Feel “Enough”

I don’t know about you guys but I have gotten so in my head at times to the point in which I’ve been questioning things that I have no business questioning.

You know that crippling self-doubt?

The what’s wrong with me? Am I worthy? Am I good enough? etc.

It’s gotten the best of me.

But I’m fed up with it.

It’s not only emotionally debilitating, but it’s also not the way I want to feel or treat my mind.

The truth is:

I control my thoughts. If I feel inferior or begin to doubt myself it’s because I have become so concerned with trivial things that I have forgotten the truth about who I am, what I’m worth and what I’m capable of.

Here is a list of things that I came up with to remind myself when self-doubt creeps in and tells me I’m not “enough”:

1. You are more than enough.

You are more than enough. Your value does not come from a thing, whether that be a talent, a job, or a material possession and it most definitely does not come from a person. You are more than enough just because you are a living breathing organism, created with love and affection by someone who loves you so much.

2. There is no one else like you.

Sure there are people who share the same talents as you, have the same hobbies, dress the same way, etc. However, there is no one that has your mind, your personality, all of your beautiful quirks in the way that you have them. No one can ever be you. And that is your power. Own it.

3. You know yourself better than anyone else.

I don’t know how many times I have caught myself questioning my own feelings and emotions simply because someone has called me out on it. I start to think that maybe I am ridiculous or that I am overreacting.

Don’t get me wrong it’s good to have perspective, and no you are not always going to be right and need to check yourself.

However, if you feel something, that is valid.

There is a reason for why you felt the way you felt, and that is what should be addressed. When you figure out the true source of those emotions than you access whether you need to check yourself or not.

4. You are a treasure.

Just because someone doesn’t appreciate all that you are, everything you have to offer, from your appearance to personality attributes does not mean you are not a prized possession. You’re a so fucking special. Period.

5. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Make a list of all the things that you have gone through that has upset you. Go ahead. One thing you will realize is that you either overcame successfully or you survived. You no longer feel the shame or pain you thought you would forever feel and you are a lot stronger because of it.

6. Life is what you make it. 

I hate to go all Hannah Montana on you. Actually, I don’t because she was amazing. But seriously, she had a point. Life is what you make it. You can choose to dwell on the thing that has been bringing you down or you can decide to push through and focus on you.

Get back to working out, begin doing things you love, eat healthier, focus on whatever it is that makes you happy and leave no room for negativity.

****

 

I know what it feels like to doubt yourself, to not feel enough.

But, I want you to know that that is not everything.

We are worthy, we are loved, we are enough.

Even if we feel like we’re not.

Let’s make it a goal to remind ourselves every day!

Xoxo,

Mara