thelegendaryalex1. Fall In Love With Learning Fall in love with exploring new ideas, constructing new thoughts, piecing together a new framework for how the world around you works and what you can do with that knowledge. Go back to school, take a course you’ve always wanted to take or finally pick up that book that…
Like many young adults around the world, high school wasn’t really the most amazing experience for me. This was due in large part because I was internally battling with a lot of anxiety. The cafeteria was a daily struggle feeling the pressure of hundreds of students surrounding me, afraid of siting alone; being an outcast. Also, there was the struggle of not being confident enough to express myself through my clothing or certain interests. Today, although I have made peace with my past, if I had the opportunity to give my 14-year-old self some advice before entering high school I would. So here’s a list of things I would say to freshman Mara:
1. They’re not as scary as they look. Talk to people, crack a joke, make friends. They’re more often than not just as terrified as you. You may make them comfortable enough to open up and maybe even start a friendship.
2. Those people who look down on you. The ones who think they’re the coolest thing to walk the earth. Their coolness won’t matter once they exit this school. Everyone goes back to 0 once this is over and none of this will matter anymore. It’ll all be but a distant memory of when you were young.
3. Wear whatever you want and act the way you are. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like you or what you’re wearing so long as you do.
4. Join clubs. Even if you don’t think you’re good at something, just go for it. Who knows you might actually find you really like it or good at it.
5. Spirit Week is fun. Go show some school pride, make some cool memories.
6. You are beautiful. All of you is beautiful, your face, your hands, your hips, your legs. All of it. A guy that doesn’t appreciate all of you, does not deserve you.
7. As a matter of fact, don’t even bother dating. You are so young and have a whole life ahead of you to date. Focus on getting to know who you are; your likes, your dislikes, everything. Let love come when it comes.
8. Fangirl as much as your little heart desires. Although it doesn’t matter if you do it when you’re older, this is the only time when you will really have time. So beg your parents to go to concerts, make friends that are into the music you like and simply enjoy it. You might not know this now but music is what you love.
9. Speak up, even if you think you might sound “stupid”, which you won’t. Say what’s on your mind. Not only might you benefit others but you can benefit yourself.
10. Give your all in everything. Honestly, it’s one of the most rewarding feelings you can experience. Not only will you get good grades but you will unleash your potential and might even find passion for something you didn’t know you had.
There it is. This is the advice I would give my 14-year-old self. Is there anything you would add? Let me know in the comment section. Love you always.
“I love you”, three small, but immensely meaningful words, that you said to me. Those words that I had heard over, and over in every romantic movie that I had watched since I can remember being able to understand. You know those key words that made people jump for joy, cry of happiness, give up everything they thought that they ever wanted because it seemed like that was all they ever needed? Yeah those words. You said them to me.
Now, I can’t say that it made everything around me perfect or that everything fell into place, but it made something inside me feel right. It made me feel like for a moment my life was complete. I had everything I needed to move foward. Every crappy moment that I could have in a day, whether I got in an argument with my mom or I embarrassingly forgot to do a homework assignment for one of my classes, they were so insignificant in comparison to seeing you and getting those raging butterflies in my stomach and a seemingly permanent smile glued to my face.
It was that thing I had been missing for a while. Something I had unknowingly desired for so long. That image of a male figure in my life that I could hold on to was there and I didn’t want it to disappear. Because see although you may have only seen part of the picture, the one where my mom was always there and I didn’t really mention my dad. There was more. A deeper wound of a little girl that saw her parents break up at five years old, and from then forward only saw her dad everyonce in a while. But I wanted more, I craved the male component that would complete the picture, even if it was only mine.
So, needless to say when a couple months later your silence was the response I got when I asked I guess we’re not together anymore? you could say it tore me apart. See in the movies, no one tells you about what happens when it doesn’t last. What happens when they stop expressing the love they said they had as if it wasn’t even love to begin with. Because love is forever right? So what was this? What was this incompleteness? This cutting short. It sure wasn’t love.
It took a while for me to understand, but now, many years later, I stand, older and wiser and I’ve realized a lot. I’ve realized, that what we had although very sweet and innocent wasn’t love but the longing for it. It was the outpouring of my strengths to make it be something that it wasn’t. See you couldn’t have given me what I was looking for. I was looking for stability someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I was looking for the missing image of my dad, something I would never have been able to find in you.We were both so young and naive, not even remotely ready for the commitment that love entails. I expected so much of you and I apologize.
I apologize for taking it hard. For not wanting to let you go and making myself look like a fool as I continously sought for ways to fix us, ways to reignite the match of what I thought was just a dimmed fire of love. I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable and for letting things between us get extremely awkward for those fleeting high school years. If I could take it back I would.
And most of all, I forgive you, because although I now understand that this was just a part of life, I for so long held a seed of hostility and anger towards you. You didn’t deserve to have that spot in my heart and I release you from it. And so, I can now truthfully say that wherever you are in life at this moment, I hope that you’re happy and that you are able to give and receive the love that every single person on this earth deserves to experience. I hope you make someone a great partner some day. All the best to you.
your not so crazy ex girlfriend
Yes, that’s Selena Gomez. She’s queen, and continues to slay my life haha. Anyways, today I want to give you guys some tips that have helped me be more confident. This is not to say that I’m always confident, that’s a daily decision, and as we all know some days are harder than others. However, these are things that I’ve noticed that have helped me to be at my prime with confidence. I hope these can be of help to you. Here they go:
Tip #1: Don’t compare yourself to others.
The fact of the matter is that you are not and cannot be any person other than yourself. Comparing yourself to other people seeps the life out of you. You become disheartened when you see that no matter what you do it doesn’t come out or look just like it does on so and so. You’re beautiful. Your body is beautiful. Focus on taking care of yourself and embracing all of what you have to offer.
Tip #2: Be real.
Don’t hide who you are. If you’re goofy be goofy, if you like crocheting, crochet the heck out of whatever you want. Don’t be afraid to let people see everything that is you. For so long I tried to be what I’ve thought other people would like to see. A girl that is outgoing, has a cute laugh, likes to do girly things etc, but I wasn’t happy. I’m happiest when I say what’s on my mind, when I talk about books or my favorite artists’ new songs etc. When I’m one hundred percent me.
Tip #3: Be the best version of yourself.
It doesn’t matter what other people do, if they don’t give their best in all that they do. Don’t be mediocre. There’s satisfaction and results in giving your best in whatever you have to do whether that be school, work, personal life, etc. Work for the A, try your best, dress up, and know that you’re always giving your all, and if it doesn’t always workout the way you want to you’ve given your best. Everything else is a part of life.
Tip #4: Speak life into yourself.
Don’t feed yourself negativity and then expect to birth a positive life. Remind yourself daily of the truths that you want to believe rather than all of the negative lies. You can do many things like put sticky notes all over your room, get an inspirational journal; many things. Whatever it may be make sure to surround yourself with truth and leave no room for drowning in negativity.
Some truths that I like to remind myself of:
- “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” – Psalm 139:14 NIV
- “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”- Proverbs 31:30 NIV
- “No one can make me feel inferior, without my consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
- “I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.”
- “Everyday may not be good but three is something good in every day.”
Tip #5: Exercise.
Take care of your body. Not only will your body thank you for it in the long run but you will feel better. You don’t have to exercise to look like anything or anyone but exercise because it’s good for your body and you want to do things that are beneficial to it.
Well, that’s all. I hope these tips can be of help to you guys. Let me know in the comment section what are things that you do to boost your confidence. Love you, always.
Hello beautiful people! Thank you for stopping by my page! I have recently decided to focus my blog for the time being on how to accomplish your 2016 goals. For the next couple of months I will be posting about different topics such as exercise, grades, confidence, etc. topics that I think people might have centered some of their goals for the new year around and I will be providing some tips you can use to accomplish some of those things. I’ve decided to start with school because I’ve just gone back to college and I figured some of you guys might be in the same boat as me and will want to work your butt off to start of the semester strong with good grades. So, these are some things that I implented last semester that were actually very helpful and allowed me to accomplish my goal of getting all As. Some of these things may or may not work for you but I hope at least some of them will benefit you the way they did me. Okay so here we go:
Set out time you will study/do the homework for each individual class you have. I like to take 1-2 hours to work on what I need to get done for each class the day before I have that class. In that time, I bring everything I need for that class: books, notebook, pen, highlighters, etc. and like I said I dedicate that time to get everything I need to get done to be successful in that class.
Have some background music going. Now this might not be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine. However, I’ve found that putting study music in the background, especially when I have to read a chapter, helps me to focus on what I’m reading. I don’t know if this is true, I haven’t timed myself, but I feel like I even read faster that when I do that. Who knows? That would definitely be a plus.
This a link to a video that I like to listen to when I study: https://youtu.be/2JQsf7i_dXY
Make an outline of your notes. If I have to do reading for a particular class I like to make an outline of my own with all of the main topics that were discussed in the chapter. If it is easier you can just go by every bolded headline written in the chapter. While I’m reading I write down within each headline things that I think are important. I then like to leave space within each headline so I can later add notes that I get from the professor in class. You could also make seperate notes for in class if you prefer that. However, keep them all in the same area so that you’re not scrambling for them when it’s time to study for a test.
Take breaks. I would say work on your homework consistently for at least an hour before taking a timed break. Now, I say work consistently before taking a break because you will actually get work done, feel accomplished, and your break will fee more deserved. These breaks can range from 15-30 minutes depending on what you prefer. Remember though if you take a really long break you probably won’t feel motivated to start working again after, keep that in mind when your deciding how long you’ll break for.
Use sticky notes. If there’s something that stands out to you while you’re reading put a sticky note on it in case you want to refer back to it at some other point. Also, if there’s something you don’t understand and need to ask your teacher about in class a sticky note is perfect.
Ask questions. If you don’t understand something ask. The fact is that someone else probably needs the answers as much as you and you’ll benefit yourself and someone else. If anything think about this, these people, your teachers/professors, they are there to help you. They are getting paid to teach you something, take advantage of that. Especially if you’re paying yourself for your education!
I hope these tips are helpful. This is what I’ve been doing recently and have found that I’ve been successful as a result. Good luck, and I wish you all the academic success you desire!
So although I might be really behind with watching this movie, this weekend I watched the “children’s” movie Inside Out. Now, I put the word children in quotes because although the movie is an animated Disney movie directed at a children audience it leaves a lot to think about for teenagers and adults. The movie shows us how emotions such as fear, joy, sadness, anger, and disgust control the actions of a girl since the day she was born and actually gives us so much perspective on human nature. After, becoming very intrigued by the movie and watching how the girl grows up and ends up losing joy and sadness after a fight between the two because of sadness’ desire to touch the little girl’s critical memories (which meant that they would forever be tinged with sadness) I started to think about which emotions governed my actions. Throughout her entire life, up until she lost joy, the little girl’s emotions were primarily governed by joy and somewhat assisted by the others when necessary. Thinking back on my life, I’ve always been governed by fear (the nervous wreck) first, and then joy (the one that wants to be happy and see the good in everything) last. Fear had me questioning whether I should join the club I was interested in, whether I should talk to the boy I liked, or raise my hand in class. While, joy was the real me the one that was excited about signing and would love to join anything involving music, that had a sense of humor that would have me holding back tears of laughter in class so that I wouldn’t seem like a crazy person. I want to primarly be governed by joy. Recently in my life I have been making changes, working on becoming a better me and trying to have my life put together. However, I haven’t made much room for joy to take over. I’ve decided that not only do I want to take her out and let her take the reigns every once in a while, I am going to. She’s an essential part of me, the me I want to be. I don’t know what emotions have governed your life or are governing it now but I hope that you may allow the emotions that make you happy, the one that are true to who you are, shine and that the things that have happened in your life don’t burry those essential emotions. You are amazing and deserve to live happy satisfying lives. Love you always!
So I just want to start off by saying 2015 has been a really intense year for me. I lost loved ones, I lost myself, and I lost friendships that were dear to me. However, I also gained a lot. All of these things I’ve learned are big and come from finally getting to a place in my life in which I was dissatisfied to the point of action and as a result I was able to grow.
Here it goes:
I am enough. It’s okay if someone doesn’t like me whether that be a boy, a classmate, or anyone. The fact that someone doesn’t see value in me does not devalue me or completely erase my value. I’m valuable regardless.
Fear holds you back from amazing life changing/growing experiences. There’s so much to see, do and learn from that you miss out on when you don’t step out even in fear.
3. It’s okay not to be okay. I don’t have to be perfect and pretend to be something I’m not. That’s exhausting. Transparency is relieving and gains you respect.
4. I am capable of doing ANYTHING I set my mind. Straight As, a blog, a new job; I can do that.
5. Appreciate and hold on to the people in your life who check in on you, who tell you the truth because they love you and don’t have ulterior motives for being your friend.
8. I love to write. I may not be amazing at it but writing is definetly a passion of mine and something I want to continue to pursue even as a hobby.
9. Not everything that people say about me is true. Just because someone thinks I’m weird or I can’t do something doesn’t mean that what they think is true will come to pass or has to be my truth.
10. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect in my life for me to be happy. So what if I’m not at the place I thought I’d be at this point in my life. I’m alive, I’m blessed and I’m determined to progress (that rhymed lol).
Well, that’s it. I hope these inspired you in any way. Let me know what you think, do any of these resonate with you? What did you learn in 2015? Love you always!