Tag Archives: love yourself

6 Ways to Take Your Power Back

I recently read the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin, and the concept of giving our power away struck a chord with me.

Morin, who is a licensed clinical social worker, psychology instructor, and pshychotherapist, explains, how one of the 13 things that interfere with our mental strength is the conscious or unconscious act of giving power away. 

The overall theme of the chapter focused on the topic is that we give our power away when we let outside factors, things beyond our control, control how we feel and how we act and we don’t take measures to conserve our power.

“Anytime you don’t set healthy emotional and physical boundaries for yourself, you risk giving away your power to other people…Each time you avoid saying no to something you really don’t want, you give your power away” – Amy Morin, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

With that in mind, today I want to share with you guys some tips I think are important in this journey of learning about your power and taking it back:

1. Nourish your soul with truth.

Read empowering books, self-reflect learn, new things; fill yourself with all the good you possibly can. Figure out what’s important to you and what you believe with all your heart.

2.   Practice sticking to your values.

These are always non-negotiable.  Not to say that you shouldn’t take any input or that your opinions won’t change later on. But, if you believe in your core that something is right/important don’t succumb to any outside pressure to go back on it.

3. Don’t allow room in your life for people that don’t respect you.

Your circle should be quaint; quality over quantity. It should be filled with people who tell you the truth but above all respect you. If they don’t, they got to go.

4. Surround yourself with people and things that bring you life.

Pretty self explanatory but if you want good vibes you got to constantly nourish your soul with good things and good people.

5. Practice self-compassion.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things aren’t always going to work out perfectly. That is life. What matters is how you react to it; what you tell yourself. Encourage yourself the way you would a friend!

6. Love Yourself.

Treat yourself, take yourself out, say nice things to yourself, and you will see that you will not only feel great but you will teach others how to love you and attract the right kind of people to your life.

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Overall, taking your power back is hard work but the benefits you will see are amazing.

Xoxo, 

Mara 

P.s Y’all should totally check out Amy’s book it’s a very good read!

7 Positive Affirmations for Everyday Life

I really wish I could accurately explain how beneficial positive self-talk is to our overall well-being.

All I can say is when you decide to react to circumstances in your life by speaking positive truths, you are able to experience a shift in emotions as well as a balanced change in perspective, over time.

Here are some positive affirmations you can use in your everyday life:

1. I am beautiful, I am unique, I am special. All that I am is enough and amazing. I don’t need to be anybody else but me. (cue Gavin Degraw, OTH fans where you at?:p)

2. I have made a mistake, but I am not a mistake.

3. What I think about myself is more important than what other people think about me.

4. My art is necessary. Even if it touches just one person, and that person is me.

5. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I am on my way there. Everything I am going through is only going to make me better prepared for what is coming.

6. No matter what comes my way today I can handle it gracefully.

7. I don’t need to be in control of everything for everything to be okay. 

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You know what the amazing thing about this is?

You don’t have to feel like these things are true in the moment for you to speak them.

However, continue speaking these positive truths and soon enough they become reality in your life.

Xoxo,

Mara

 

7 Tips for Becoming Intentional about Loving Yourself

As I mentioned in my previous post, loving yourself is something that involves action.

 As a result, like with any other relationship it requires intentionality in order for it to be evidenced.

Today, I’m sharing with you some tips on how you can become intentional about loving yourself:

1. Make a list of all of the areas you would like to work on.

Loving ourselves involves taking care of mind, body, and souls. Therefore, there are many areas that we know we can work on to love ourselves. List each and every one of those areas that you would like to eventually work on. One example is your negative mindset. You can decide that you want to work on becoming a more positive or confident person.

2. Pick one area and Devote yourself to it wholeheartedly. 

You can focus on the area you want to work on by figuring out what that area would like at its best. Do your research. If you want to be more confident, google articles about how to become more confident, what qualities do confident people possess, or simply think about what actions you admire about a person you look up to that you deem as confident. 

3. Give yourself a timeline for when you want to accomplish certain tasks. 

Going back to the confidence topic. If you want to work on being more confident you don’t necessarily need a timeline but definitely need an action plan. You can decide that part of working on your confidence is going to involve dressing in a way that makes you feel fierce. So each night you’ll pick a fierce outfit to wear to work or school and do that faithfully.

4. Remind yourself of your intention, DAILY.

You can plug it into your calendar, put it into your phone, tape it in your bedroom wall. Whatever works for you.

5. Find someone to keep you accountable.

Only if you have someone that you feel comfortable with telling your weaknesses to. This person should be trustworthy and persistent. They shouldn’t hold your weaknesses against you but they should push you to stay focused on what you want to get done.

6. Check in on your progress.

This can be whatever way you would like, but for me, journaling is very effective when used as a tool for self-reflection. Set some time for when you will sit down and write about how you feel. Do you feel more confident? Have you noticed any changes in your life? This will help you to decide if there’s something you need to change or simply give you a little pat on the back when you realize how far you’ve come.

7. Reward yourself.

When you’ve accomplished a goal that you’ve set for yourself, feel free to reward yourself. Treat yourself to some ice cream, buy yourself that thing that’s been on your mind recently to get; do something to celebrate your victories.

 

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Intentionality is all about commitment and persistence. Being intentional about loving yourself is something that deserves all of that and more.

So decide, that you want to love yourself more this year and put in the work so you can see the benefits in your life.

Xoxo,

Mara

 

5 Truths about Loving Yourself

The term “love yourself” seems pretty self-explanatory, right?

We love our families, we love our friends, our pets, so, loving ourselves wouldn’t be any different?

The thing is, most often than not, we solely prescribe the emotion of love to ourselves but not the action.

Sure the average person would agree with the statement, “yes, I love myself”. They don’t want to die, they try to be safe, and they may occasionally splurge for the benefit of their health (stress, anxiety, etc.) but that’s normally where it ends.

However, just like it isn’t enough for another to tell us they love us and without proving it with their actions, it is not enough for us to say we love ourselves and not prove it with our actions.

I get it, though, it’s easy to let the actions of love towards ourselves fall by the wayside because who’s going to hold us accountable? No one. (Unless you have amazing friends that are on you about these things).

If you’ll hear me out for a minute (or the rest of this post) I want to share with you some truths about loving yourself that will show just how important it can be:

1. Loving ourselves is beneficial to our well-being. 

No matter how amazing it might sound to think that someone else can love us enough to mend us, no one can mend us like ourselves. Yes, outside love might put a little balm on our aching souls, but it is the hard earned love from ourselves that will completely heal us and make us strong enough to conquer this thing called life.

2. Loving ourselves involves intentionality. 

Like I mentioned before, it is not enough to simply say we love ourselves and not prove it with our actions. In order for us to see the benefits of loving ourselves in our lives, we need to be intentional about taking care of our mind, body, and spirit.  This means we need to sit down, create an action plan with a timeline and get it done because it’s important to us and we want to flourish and be at our best capacity.

3. Loving ourselves does not equate to selfishness.

Loving ourselves can sometimes bring about the misconception that we’re being selfish. Truthfully, I think this only manifests itself in one of two ways. One, it comes from us because we are so used to being kind and not wanting to disappoint people, that we feel guilty and therefore selfish that we’re no longer saying yes all the time. Two, it comes from another person who either a) doesn’t know you and confuses your assertiveness for selfishness or b) does know you, and in their disappointment prescribes selfishness to your new lifestyle choice rather than assertiveness. Regardless, you are not selfish for making decisions that benefit your well-being, even if it doesn’t sit well with other people.

4. Loving ourselves well, allows us to love others better.

This is what those who call you selfish don’t understand. Sure, you may deny some of yourself for the sake of your well-being, but that’s just it, it’s for your well-being. In the long run, you’ll be more present in the things you are involved in, and you’ll be better able to understand how to love other people.

5. Loving ourselves teaches us about who we are.

It’s funny because all of our lives, we spend trying to figure out who we are, what we want in life, and what we should do. We exert energy putting ourselves down when we don’t measure up to other people, when we haven’t gotten to the point we wanted to yet and have this screaming fear that maybe what we’re doing isn’t going to make us happy for 75 to 100 years. But if we took the time to love ourselves intentionally, we would realize, first of all, that everything’s going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it, it is. And that we are capable beyond what we ever would have imagined to do things and feel things that make life so much worth living for us.

 

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Loving yourself is a lifestyle. It is something that requires intentionality and sacrifice but that will have amazing benefits on your life if you allow it to. (For some ideas on how to begin loving yourself check out this post 🙂 )

You’re going to be living with yourself for a really long time you might as well learn to love yourself now and focus on making the best of your time with the one who will always be there.

Good luck on your journey!

Xoxo,

Mara

7 Reminders for When You Don’t Feel “Enough”

I don’t know about you guys but I have gotten so in my head at times to the point in which I’ve been questioning things that I have no business questioning.

You know that crippling self-doubt?

The what’s wrong with me? Am I worthy? Am I good enough? etc.

It’s gotten the best of me.

But I’m fed up with it.

It’s not only emotionally debilitating, but it’s also not the way I want to feel or treat my mind.

The truth is:

I control my thoughts. If I feel inferior or begin to doubt myself it’s because I have become so concerned with trivial things that I have forgotten the truth about who I am, what I’m worth and what I’m capable of.

Here is a list of things that I came up with to remind myself when self-doubt creeps in and tells me I’m not “enough”:

1. You are more than enough.

You are more than enough. Your value does not come from a thing, whether that be a talent, a job, or a material possession and it most definitely does not come from a person. You are more than enough just because you are a living breathing organism, created with love and affection by someone who loves you so much.

2. There is no one else like you.

Sure there are people who share the same talents as you, have the same hobbies, dress the same way, etc. However, there is no one that has your mind, your personality, all of your beautiful quirks in the way that you have them. No one can ever be you. And that is your power. Own it.

3. You know yourself better than anyone else.

I don’t know how many times I have caught myself questioning my own feelings and emotions simply because someone has called me out on it. I start to think that maybe I am ridiculous or that I am overreacting.

Don’t get me wrong it’s good to have perspective, and no you are not always going to be right and need to check yourself.

However, if you feel something, that is valid.

There is a reason for why you felt the way you felt, and that is what should be addressed. When you figure out the true source of those emotions than you access whether you need to check yourself or not.

4. You are a treasure.

Just because someone doesn’t appreciate all that you are, everything you have to offer, from your appearance to personality attributes does not mean you are not a prized possession. You’re a so fucking special. Period.

5. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Make a list of all the things that you have gone through that has upset you. Go ahead. One thing you will realize is that you either overcame successfully or you survived. You no longer feel the shame or pain you thought you would forever feel and you are a lot stronger because of it.

6. Life is what you make it. 

I hate to go all Hannah Montana on you. Actually, I don’t because she was amazing. But seriously, she had a point. Life is what you make it. You can choose to dwell on the thing that has been bringing you down or you can decide to push through and focus on you.

Get back to working out, begin doing things you love, eat healthier, focus on whatever it is that makes you happy and leave no room for negativity.

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I know what it feels like to doubt yourself, to not feel enough.

But, I want you to know that that is not everything.

We are worthy, we are loved, we are enough.

Even if we feel like we’re not.

Let’s make it a goal to remind ourselves every day!

Xoxo,

Mara

 

5 Ways to Love Yourself

Loving yourself is hard in a world that constantly has a full display for us to take in on what “perfection” is, how amazing it supposedly is and what we need to do to replicate it.

Whether it’s on TV, in magazines, or through social media, we continuously take in this picture.

Unfortunately many of us, myself included, waste our time trying to make our lives live up to it.

If only we could buy the right set of clothes, talk the right people, try specific activities, we think we’ll actually have that perfect life in which we’re happy and others will love us. We legitimately pursue those things.

We compare ourselves and open up to becoming frustrated and upset when we can’t emulate the picture of perfection.

Perfection isn’t possible.

Everyone in one way or another has their flaws, and we are simply handed the edited version of their lives through the different portals I mentioned before.

Disengaging from something that consumes our everyday life is hard, but saying no to comparison and getting rid of that picture of perfection allows us to find inner peace and satisfaction in our own lives.

We should make the conscious effort to forget about the all the things that try to grab our attention and take the time to figure out what we love/what makes us happy, simply because it makes us happy, and pursue it.

Create your own, unique, picture of perfection. Flaws and all.

These are some of the ways that I have learned to love myself, hopefully, some of them will resonate with you:

1. Going to Therapy.

I used to think that going to therapy was for people with very intense problems. Like somehow my problems could not possibly compare to someone that has lost someone or has gotten divorced or has contemplated suicide etc.  But then I lost someone and more than a year later I decided to actually go therapy. Taking that step helped me realize something. Going to therapy is more than just about having some very intense problem you need to have assessed. It’s about confiding in someone all of the things that go on in your mind and working on making sense of our lives. It’s definitely hard but very much productive. My therapist helps me to understand how past events have affected me in order to continue down a journey of emotional healing.

2. Creating a Workout Routine.

Whether you’re already fit or you don’t really care too much about having a healthy lifestyle working out seriously has so many benefits. Personally, it motivates me to be productive, it helps clear my mind and it reduces my stress level. Yes, it has been hard sometimes to keep the consistency when there are days I’m overcome with tiredness, but working out has become a part of me now. I feel weird when I don’t do it and when I finally do it and I experience the benefits I question why I didn’t just push through.

3. Disconnecting from Technology.

I cannot stress this one enough. Honestly, I crave doing this more than I get the chance to. When I disconnect I feel refreshed/rejuvenated. There’s something about putting your phone far away where you can’t see it (I like to leave it in my bedroom and go to the kitchen or living room) and spend time writing, watching a movie, reading a book; doing anything other than waiting for texts and opening my social media accounts every five minutes.

4. Spending time doing things you love.

Although I started this blog last year, (my one year anniversary was last week🎉🎉) it wasn’t until the end of last year that I really started to actively write on here. At first, I was really nervous because I’d be sharing my thoughts with the world and I didn’t know how it would fare. But, I knew it was something that I wanted to do so I mustered the courage and did it. It has been incredibly liberating and personally rewarding and I encourage you to do whatever it is you like to do. Whether it’s writing, singing, painting, exercising; anything. Even if you’ve never tried it before, do it. Get lost in it and see where it takes you.

5. Being honest about what you think and feel.

Some of you might not relate, but if you’re anything like me, you have gotten caught up in caring so much about what other people think that you deny yourself in order to keep them happy. Honestly, it benefits no one. Sure people might get upset and it may be really hard to muster up the courage but in the long run, you will not only gain respect (even if it’s your own) but you will live a less stressful life. Keep in mind that people that care about you will consider your thoughts and feelings, not shame you or manipulate you with them.

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You are such a beautiful, amazing, and capable person no matter how different your life may look from the picture the world shows us.

I challenge you today to forget about looking like x person or trying to do x things because that’s what this person does, and try things that actually interest you and truly make you happy.

Whether you choose some of the things from my list or you take the time to come up with your own, love yourself by doing things that are good for you and make you happy.

Love yourself, love yourself hard because honestly you deserve it, and the world could use your talented, amazing, and unique self.

Xoxo,

Mara